The Orientation -episode 3, dilema-

April, 07th, 2008. New York.

“Where are you? No phone call, no text, no email, nothing... Where you’ve been all week?” He asked me this morning.

That dialogue always rushing up in my mind for at least 12 hours ago.

‘Why I couldn’t tell him the truth?? Because I love him? Yes, of course, no doubt, I love him, indeed. But, because of I love him, I couldn’t tell him the truth... I don’t wanna hurt him... I’ve push him so far, and now I won’t let him down’

‘Ok, it will be better if I go to sleep now. I have to’

When I lay my mind away, deep inside my dream, my phone is ringing.

“Alejandro,,,” voice from no where in my phone.

‘girl voice, I wondering who is she. Who calling me int this time, does she now what time is it???’’

“Ugh, yes.. who’s there?” I try to open my mouth really hard while answering

“It’s me, Maria, oh, did I wake you up, beyb??”

“Oh, Maria, no, not at all... I already woke up 5 minutes ago” Yeah, I lie.

“What happen? Why you make a call in the middle of the night?”

“What??? Wake up, honey... Look at your clock right now... You batter fast and take a shower”

I take alrm clock, 10 a.m...

”What?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Is my clock broken??”

“No, dummy, you’re the only thing that broken is your ears. Can’t heard while the clock was ringing”

‘Ugh, stop lecturing me’

“Ok, I late for work, call you later, beyb.. I’ve to go.. Love you..”


I ended this phone call.

In my bathroom, while have a shower...

‘Ehhh... What did I say before??? Did I just say “love you” before?? What??? Did I falling in love with her?? Oh no... I can’t hold this feeling anymore...’


I love her...

That’s why I couldn’t tell where I’ve been for this all week.

I was with Maria.

Someone I met in bar, Brooklyn..

That’s why I couldn’t tell Fernando..

I love Fernando, but now I start to falling love with Maria..

‘Oh, come on Alejandro... Don’t be stupid... You are Fernando’s boyfriend... There is no way for Maria... The only thing that you should do is remembering when someone broke your heart, yes, when she broke your heart 5 years ago... You hate her and all of this species...’ I told my self..

Enough for Maria.. I won’t hurt Fernando... I Promise..

[but, still... deep inside my heart I love her.. I love Maria]

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